Counselling and Divorce
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Some matters are private and some are not. Our married lives are the most personal parts of our lives, unless we are celebrities or wannabes hankering for fame and controversy through any means.
But the problem is that even the most personal of matters does not always remain within our control or the paradigms of our judgement.
When we are young, we sometimes need to go up to our parents or teachers on matters that are very important to us.
As we grow older our decision making powers increase and we ask less for advice and decide more on our own. However, there are some points in life when a third point of view may help – not to decide for us – but to help us take the right decision. We are the ones who will earn and invest, but it is common practice to sit with a financial advisor before putting our money into a scheme. Divorce, too, is one such area where we may require specialist advice to help us take a more educated step.
Who Are Divorce Counsellors?
Divorce counsellors are specialists in the area of divorce law, emotional and financial management, home management and other related areas that come into consideration when we start thinking of splitting up. It must be clarified here that divorce counsellors are not the same people as marriage counsellors. Nor are they lawyers, chartered accountants, or moral guardians. They may be qualified as any of these, but we should not turn up with absurd expectations and uninvited dependencies to people who provide professional service for a fee.
Divorce counsellors, then, are experts who advise us on ways to manage our divorce most effectively and can offer us solutions in this regard.
What Is Their Role?
The role of a divorce counsellor, as hinted above, is chiefly to provide analysis, information and advice. They cannot take decisions on your behalf, they cannot fight for you legally (unless they are certified lawyers willing to render their services) and they cannot colour the opinion of your spouse in your favour.
· However, if you are wondering how to go about the process of divorce, they can guide you through the loads of forms and formalities, let you know of the court rules and tell you how the process unfolds.
· They may also help you with the financial planning of a divorce and what it involves legally. A divorce is a costly affair, and you also need to take important decisions about your assets and properties. A counsellor usually can tell you quite concretely how money matters should be handled or guide you to a financial planning expert.
· You may be in two minds about the divorce itself. A counsellor is a neutral third party who is a good listener. You may discuss your situation, queries and possible decision with him or her. But remember that it has to be your decision ultimately and the onus of it will be on you.
· Managing property, shifting and starting afresh is another area that divorce counsellors are usually knowledgeable about. They also offer legal and financial advice on the murky area of child custody, visitation and maintenance rights and claims.
· Divorce counsellors may not be lawyers, but if your case looks complicated, they may help you with finding one. They can also advise you on other matters such as making wills, creating testimonials, gathering witnesses, handling evidence, managing pension benefits, dividing property and other valuables etc.
· Most importantly, one may sometimes just need to discuss matters with a stranger who is not sitting on the stool beside you at the bar, or is not your lawyer either. Talking about it all helps to get a perspective and untangle things as questions that have been overlooked come up, and the pieces start falling into place in the jigsaw of our relations.
Why Are They Needed?
These are some of the possible reasons as to why divorce counsellors are needed by people.
· They help us get the divorce process right. We can also read up on the internet, but a human being can usually customise our queries better than most websites.
· They can guide us to the right people in legal, financial and property-related matters.
· They can help us in planning our future better, thereby saving us time, money and hassle (and in divorce, all the three are closely linked).
Are They Worth the Price?
This depends entirely on the counsellor you choose, your situation and your own mental make-up at that point of time. You also need to look around a bit before choosing your counsellor.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
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