Feelings just Are—Neither Good nor Bad
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Send to a friend by YMAuthor: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
Suppressing, depressing, or being dishonest is what makes feelings seem bad. Honestly Feeling and Expressing Feelings Makes One Powerful and allows you to maintain integrity.
Those who are consciously on a journey of enlightenment and spiritual growth know the frequent pearls of wisdom espoused, by self-help gurus and spiritual leaders, to avoid negative emotions. You no doubt have made great strides in making a better life and rooting out the negative thought patterns that previously made you miserable. As a result, you are no longer caught up in the nightmarish drama that once ruled your life. Bravo!
However, even the most enlightened person can still get triggered when they least expect it. So what do you do with emotions like anger, sadness, and resentment when they are triggered once again? There is a clear and easy to remember technique—‘catch and release.’
‘Catch and Release’ is a fishing philosophy that allows fishermen and women to have the thrill of catching these elusive and fascinating creatures and release them back into the water, thus avoiding tipping the ecological balance of nature. Of course, if you like to eat the fish you catch that is OK too.
How does this apply to negative emotions? When you catch yourself holding onto a negative emotion, allow yourself to feel the feeling. All feelings just are—neither good nor bad. Suppressing, depressing, or being dishonest is what makes feelings seem bad. Honestly Feeling and Expressing Feelings Makes One Powerful and allows you to maintain integrity.
After feeling your feelings ‘decide’ to—release it—let it go. This approach prevents the hyper vigilant tendency you may have to suppress your feelings or to rebel against the feeling because ‘someone’ told you the feeling is bad. How long you hold onto the feeling before releasing it is an individual decision, and can vary depending on your beliefs and the situation. If you are stuck behind a stalled car during rush hour, it might be appropriate to feel annoyed for a minute or two. Any longer, you risk having a pity party or bringing on a full head of steam that could boil over into road rage.
The end of a relationship or the death of a family member or loved one brings up more intense feelings of grief and sadness than any other experience. This experience may take several weeks or sometimes months to process. Be gentle with yourself—grief comes in waves and sometimes when you least expect it. Avoid allowing your grief/sadness to re-landscape your world into an emotional swamp, whereby you wall yourself off from others or become unable to live your life.
The most effective way to avoid being in an emotional swamp is to practice ‘catching and releasing’ negative emotions. You can re-train your mind with prayer, meditation, journaling, reading inspirational or self-help books. Also, limiting exposure to negative messages from TV, movies, music and others who keep reminding you of your feelings will help you practice the ‘catch and release’ technique.
In summary when negative emotions arise (and they will), feel them and honor what they represent to you, then ‘decide’ to release them. Your new motto is: “Catch and Release.”
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