Spring Cleaning Series: Let Go of Grin & Bear It
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Send to a friend by YMTired of being nice and agreeable? Ready to be fully self-expressed? Fifth in the Spring Cleaning Series, how to let go of "Grin & Bear It" and move into more living all of who you are.
Smile and be polite. Nod and be agreeable. Tell everyone everything’s fine.
Breaking the veneer of polite, nice and “fine, thank you,” is scary stuff. But the stress of making it all look nice, pretending everything is okay while you’re overtired, overspent and overwhelmed is scarier!
If you’re from a long line of “grin and bear it;” or “don’t air your dirty laundry;” or “smile even if it hurts,” you’re not alone.
Studies increasingly suggest that this kind of stress can hurt you, or worse!
How would your life change if you stopped the grin and bear it. (Or, if you have a friend, do you think they’d like to stop this?)
Want to know how?
Hint: It’s an inside job.
1. Beef up your personal b.s. (or bologny or bullpucky) meter. Be on the lookout for the times you totally lie to yourself about ANYTHING that’s not true for you. Oprah, in one of her recent shows, asserted that any lie we tell ourselves is an insult to our creator. Imagine that!
2. Decide NOT to be afraid of preferences. Ice cream comes in more than 36 flavors. If Brooklyn-born singer/songwriter Cindy Lauper worried about what everyone thought of her individuality and, as a result, never stepped into her full self-expression, her songs “True Colors,” and “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” wouldn’t have landed their respective places in music history and launched all the ventures that followed.
3. If speaking up has been a personal challenge, practice speaking up for what you want and how you want things to be – in front of your bathroom mirror. Notice the feelings that come up as you do this – the feelings you have as the words tumble out…the feelings that come up from keeping it bottled inside. Let it flow. Better out than in.
Think about the times you’ve been on the receiving end of someone who’s wiggling out of taking a position, or telling the truth, or taking a stand. In that moment, maybe don’t want to disagree because they want your approval. Maybe they are afraid of you judging them.
Consider this an exercise in cultivating compassion – for yourself and others. Your health and peace of mind will thank you.
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