UFO: Loch Ness Monster Sighted in Colorado
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Send to a friend by YMAuthor: John T Jones, Ph.D.
What is that creature the Scotts say they are seeing every other day in Loch Ness? Xrytspet takes me back to see the Western Interior Seaway in the Cretaceous Period. A huge meteor ruins the trip.
I was trying to write an article about the Loch Ness Monster when Xrytspet© from Fanton in G10009845788899990766 stuck her nose into my business again.
Xrytspet: Your writing about something you know nothing about.
Hack Writer: I always start out that way, or nearly always. This one started in my dentist office while I was reading National Geographic. Go away!
Xrytspet: I’m taking a spin in the FnL7 Time Craft. I thought you would like to come along.
Hack: Go away, Xrytspet!
Xrytspet; I’m going back 75 million years. I want to take a look at the Western Interior Seaway.
Hack: The what?
Xrytspet: I’m leaving. If you want to go, you had better lift your butt off that chair.
That’s when Xrytspet levitated me and the next thing I knew I was in the FnL7 Time Craft speeding back in time. As we flew, Xrytspet talked.
Xrytspet: You are incredibly ignorant of the history of your planet, Taylor Jones, the hack writer. It seems I’m always explaining things to you.
Hack: You were there. I wasn’t.
Xrytspet: I’ll tell you a secret. That building next to the Police Station is what’s called a library. They have books in there and you don’t need money to get them. They loan them out.
Hack: You’re such a smart butt, Xrytspet.
Xrytspet: “The Western Interior Seaway is an ancient intracontinental seaway that occupied much of modern western North America and existed throughout much of the Cretaceous Period.”
Hack: Which statement you quoted word for word from one of those books.
Xrytspet: Not exactly. I copied it from http://serc.carleton.edu/resources/1857.html.
Hack: I though so. Look! We’re there! Good heavens what is that thing?
Xrytspet: That is the Thalassmedon, your Loch Ness monster. (See http://www.oceansofkansas.com/longneck.html and http://www.oceansofkansas.com/denver.html.)
Hack: That creature has a neck 20 feet long. It’s a type of plesiosaur, isn’t it? Each of its four flippers is as big as a man. Let this thing hover higher. It’s snapping at us.
Xrytspet: We’re not fish and it's slow because it keeps big stones in its belly.
Hack: It’s doesn’t seem to care. Throw it an apsopelix.
An apsopelix is a bony fish, or was. See http://www.keystonegallery.com/fossils/bony_fish.html.
Xrytspet: We’ve got to get out of here!
Hack: But we just got here and I want to see everything.
Xrytspet: Look on the projectile screen.
Hack: HOLY, COW! That’s one humongous meteor.
Xrytspet: Say bye, bye to the Thalassmedon.
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