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What Stops You from Being There?

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Author: Og Lee

I hear too often people talking about the things they would like to do or reach but they can't. I somehow hate this 4 letters in this combination C A N T...

I come up here with some solutions to kill this word in our lives.

So let me introduce you to a small exercise that is intended to give you a more clear view on your obstacles.

Do this exercise every time you feel there is something between you and your goals..

Write a list of the things you want to do or you want to reach... Here is an example of list:

1. Learn Spanish 2. Give up the cancer sticks ( smoking ) 3. More romantic with my spouse

Now it comes the not-so-easy part - being honest to yourself against the good image we all have about ourselves:

Let's take the first point ( Assuming you are talking to yourself and about yourself )

1.Learn Spanish Q: Why do you I need to learn Spanish? A: Because It will add value to me as an individual, increase my self esteem and offer me more choices in my career. Also because I developed some new friendships with some native Spanish speakers and I would like to be able to talk to them in Spanish. -

Q: Where do I stand regarding the Spanish language? A: I have some basic knowledge of Spanish, I can understand it over 70% but I can't speak it fluent. I bough some books but I somehow postpone the Day 1 of the learning process.

Q: Which are the internal barriers in learning Spanish? A: - lack of organizational skill - lack of ambition is setting and respecting goal setting

So, let's make it short, in one sentence...

If I would organize myself better, set goals and respect the deadlines I will be able to increase my self esteem, make new friends and increase my career evolution potential.

So, by finding " the barriers " you can allow yourself to evolve, both personal and professional.

And the most important part is to take a decision right away.

The decision is setting the date of your first Spanish lesson.

2.Give up the cancer sticks

Q: Why do I smoke? A: Is is a habit I started because there was nothing to do with my hands and because it made it more easy to socialize with others.

Q: Why would I quit? A: Because there is a risk I won't see my kids growing and because I see sadness in my spouse eyes every time I smoke and she sees me. Also because I promised her I will give up at a certain date and that date passed and I am still a smoker ( made me break up a promise to her ).

Q: What stops me from quitting? A: -lack of ambition -maybe a sort of dependence -my friends and colleagues know I am smoking and offer me 1 when I don't have mine -the denial of the fact I cannot give up anytime I want; the denial of the fact I am addicted

Q: What can I do about it? A: - Recognize I am addicted to nicotine. Yes I am addicted !!! -Announce all my colleagues I quitted smoking ( not trying to quit - try is a bad word..About this in another post)

Recognize I should look for some professional help, like some quitting pills for my body and develop a mindset about rejecting smoking. Get more documents on the smoking effects against the human body.

- Writing down a statement of my reasons of quitting and what will happen to me if I start again, multiply it and read it everyday.

When? I will start working at gathering info about the help I can get and in one week I will have the program written and kick it.

3. More romantic with my spouse

Q: Why would I do it? A: Because she is a special person, and I love her more everyday for a thousand reasons and because at the beginning of our relationship I was bringing her flowers & surprising her with different gifts, and now that we are married I don't do that anymore.

Q: Why I don't do it? A: Well, I assume she knows I love her and I somehow have a feeling that she is belonging to me and because I am working hard and make good money I feel somehow that compensates all the romantic gestures.

Q: Advantages of being more romantic: A: - strengthening my connection with her; - making her feel loved more often - making her smile more often - loving her more ( I love her more every time she smiles )

Q: Goal setting: A: I will bring her flowers at least 1 day per week I will give her a nice and long massage 2 times a week. I will take the trash out everyday and wash the dishes. ( Doesn't sound too romantic, but I don't think she enjoys doing that everyday )

Conclusion: A.Identify "What do you want to get" B.List the advantages of obtaining that "something", how would your life look after you already achieved what is now a goal. C.Discover which are the weaknesses that are holding you back from reaching there and make a plan to get over them.

The first goal is the hardest to deal with, after you will achieve the first one than the second one comes easier because you have a higher self esteem and you already have some experience dealing with the little guys inside your head that suggest you to give up your decision.

After practicing this for a few months, the 8-th or the 9-th will be a piece of cake, will be just a natural process.

I would like to hear about people following this guideline and noticed a better self in the mirror.