Your Mind Is Not Your Friend
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Send to a friend by YMAuthor: Rosemary Heenan
Beliefs are nothing more than decisions you made about an experience you had. They may or may not be true. What is true is that what you believe affects how you act and what your experience will be. Change what you believe and you will open the door to the success you desire in any area of your life.
What an interesting concept. Do you wonder what it means and why it’s the heading of a newsletter?
I heard the phrase recently and thought it was a perfect topic to discuss. The meaning I took from it is that everything I think is the result of a decision I made and a belief that I have created. Many beliefs are not only not true, but are also often limiting and keep me stuck in a familiar and very small world.
Think about looking at a beautiful china plate. One side is covered in a pretty flower design in green and fuchsia. If you hold the plate in front of your eyes and ask me to tell you what colour it is, I will say it’s white. I can’t see the flowers and the side facing me is completely white. The side facing you is green and fuchsia. To you the plate is colourful.
We are both looking at the same plate, but our perspective is completely different and thus we are each seeing only one aspect of the two possibilities.
Our beliefs are the same. Any decision we make about what an experience means about us or to us, is based on the perspective we hold, the possibilities we can think about what happened, and the meaning it may have. However, the fact is that we could have made a completely different decision and thus had a different belief as a result.
Once we have adopted that belief however, we think it is the truth and it becomes how we see and interpret the world. It becomes a lens through which we view our world and it will always be validated by our experiences because we draw to us that which we believe.
One of my clients had a belief that she couldn’t handle money. Nora* had over-spent on credit cards and had no savings. Any money that came to her, she quickly spent on present needs and desires. She realized that she had to make a change if she wanted to live without the stress of too much debt.
Nora’s first step was to identify the limiting belief that she was a poor money manager. In coaching we asked the question, “If she were to handle her money successfully, what would she have to believe?” Her new belief was “I am a wise investor and manager of my money”.
Next, she implemented the jars system she had learned about through Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker, and started with $100.00 a month divided into the six jars. After six months, Nora was in a completely different money situation and her belief that she was a wise investor and manager of her money was the truth of her new reality.
Another client’s belief that she wasn’t good enough had affected her life in many ways. Pam wasn’t able to move up in her career because she always thought that she wasn’t good enough to handle greater responsibilities. The people she worked with saw a very competent employee and often recommended her for promotions, but the few she took caused her so much internal stress because of her belief, she eventually asked to go back to her previous position.
When I was two years old, I had a temper tantrum. Some enlightened being had told my mother the best thing to do for a temper tantrum is to throw a glass of water in the child’s face and it will end, so that’s what she did.
Yes, I did stop screaming, however, in my two year old mind I decided that it wasn’t safe to express my angry feelings. Other childhood incidents reinforced that belief and in time I found it impossible to express my angry feelings.
As an adult, however, that same belief interfered with my ability to be in healthy relationships with others because I wouldn’t speak up if I was angry. What I would do was express it non-verbally and in passive-aggressive ways. The other person would always know I was feeling something, but they wouldn’t hear it from me.
As you can imagine, that caused a great deal of problems in my close relationships until I discovered what belief I had and changed it to one that allowed me a full, appropriate expression of feelings.
I recommend that you take a close look at some of the things in your life that you would like to be different and ask yourself “What would I have to believe to have the results I want?”
Your mind wants to hold on to the familiar and keep you safe. That’s its job. Thank it for taking care of you and let go of the limiting belief. If you hear an internal voice that tells you can’t do something or you are something small or incapable, thank your mind for sharing and keep on affirming the new belief and taking actions to create the results you desire.
Take control of your mind and use it to create the life of your dreams.
(*All names have been changed to respect confidentiality.)
For more information on developing a Millionaire Mind, go to http://www.MillionaireMind.com
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